Constantly trying to get it right can be a massive weight to bear when you’re a mother. We are told in various medias how to raise our children, what’s the best product, techniques and guilt filled articles of how you must spend your time with your children.
In all honesty my family and I live with my mother as we try to save for a house, we own plastic brightly coloured toys and love alphabet potatoes. I get frustrated and tired when my children, mainly small but feisty daughter, rebel and revel in craziness but being honest and realistic has to be one of the most important things a mother needs to remember. Staying true and united instead of comparing and silently judging should be a thing of the past.
Have any of you ever found yourself in a cosmic daydream staring at a fellow mother? Are you wondering what she’s all about? Pondering if her house is cleaner than yours, if her children play with just as much plastic crap? Some days it seems as if only my children are being obnoxiously loud and snotty who eat spaghetti out of a tin. But hey, in true Al Pacino style… forget about it!
How many times have you found yourself talking to a unknown mother, your children are similar ages, it begins… milestones, weights, births and sleep patterns are discussed. I have never found this a positive experience, and have gone away feeling deflated and somewhat disheartened that a mother that I don’t even know has questioned my mothering or my child’s development. Now I have a second child I have learnt to quickly nip these conversations in the bud. Not that I’m rude or abrupt as I’m sure mothers do like to share, but I make it well known that my babies when and wherefores needn’t be a topic of discussion.
I cannot lie in saying that I am guilty of imagining where they live and the nice holidays they must go on. Why do I give myself such a hard time when it comes to motherhood? It’s as if I’ve been given a benchmark to follow and feel like I’m failing when I’ve had a tough day. Let’s just be real about things here…
Taking away the aesthetics and polished Instagram feeds, all we are left with is us and our little humans. These little beings unite us in sleepless nights and constant wonder of their beauty. Self doubt and worry plague us all, so less of the stress Mama.
But I am seeing a change, especially on social media. Having a virtual support system to share all your worries, embarrassments, and real life to can slowly bring back your mothering mojo. I look in awe at the magical monochrome and pretty pastels, I know this is not my life… for now anyway. My life is in three rooms and belongings are packed away for the one and only day we have a house of our own. I’ve learnt to embrace the chaos and clutter, no colour co-ordination.
We all have our own mothering woes which link us. In one way or another we welcomed babies into the world, let’s not forget this. Positivity, just like a smile, is contagious – let’s spread it. Let’s help each other out a little, we all have tough days where a little love and encouragement can go along way! I want all of my friends be it close and virtual that I’m there for them. Let’s keep this a positive journey and help each other along the way! Love you beautiful Mamas ❤ Xxx